You’ve heard about stuffing extra mozzarella cheese into pizza crusts. For a while there, they even put a cool layer of doritoes around the edge. It was tasty. And then, a year or so back, they even put mini meat pies in there. That was great. But Street Corner has found a secret list of what pizza manufacturers are planning to stuff into pizza crusts next. And the list will shock you.
NUMBER ONE – MINI PIZZAS
It’s pizza inception. A pizza, with mini pizzas in the crust. And then those mini pizzas have mini, mini pizzas in the crust. And those pizzas have mini, mini, mini pizzas in the crust and so on and so forth until you have mini mini mini mini mini mini mini mini pizzas on your pizza.
NUMBER TWO BURRITOS
Yes, it is the coming together of the two greatest foods in the English speaking world. Except that both foods originated in the non-english speaking world. But never mind, mini burritos in pizza crusts is where it’s at.
NUMBER THREE – PEANUT BUTTER CUPS
How have they never thought of this before? A pizza crust stuffed with chocolate, which itself is stuffed with peanut butter. It’s a game changer. And they promise a minimum of 18 peanut butter cups with every pizza.
NUMBER FOUR – ICE CREAM SANDWICHES
There are scientists at pizza laboratories around the world, trying to solve a simple question: how can we get ice cream sandwiches not to melt when we stuff them into pizza crusts. And the sad news is, they don’t have that answer yet. So you will just have to keep having ice-cream sandwich-less pizza crusts for a little while to come.
NUMBER FIVE – KALE
We are so sorry. Like really, really sorry. But the kale army has infiltrated pizza stores and is trying to hide kale in pizza crusts. But don’t worry, if you’re wondering how you’ll know if there’s kale in your pizza…the owner of the kale will tell you.
NUMBER SIX – MINI DUMBELLS
This is really smart thinking. Getting a pizza and a gym workout all in one. If you carefully extract the dumbbells from the molten cheese you will be able to use them for some quick bicep reps in between gorging yourself. And the extra-heavy pizzas will give delivery drivers a bonus workout while they’re on the road.
NUMBER SEVEN- MICRO MACHINES
We’re stumped with this one. We have no idea why you would put miniature cars into the crust of a pizza. This is a good example of where, just because they fit, doesn’t mean you should put them in a pizza crust.
NUMBER EIGHT – TINY PERFUME BOTTLES
This is just perfect. You have a date over for netflix, pizza and chill, but after gulping down garlic pizza, you’re worried your natural scent may not be bringing its A-Game. So with these miniature perfume bottles hidden in the crust, don’t worry, this pizza has got your back.
NUMBER NINE – TREASURE MAPS
Ever feel like your pizza lacks a sense of, well, adventure? Well worry no more, with pizzas soon to be stuffed with these adorable tiny treasure maps. Just lick off the tomato paste and follow your way to a hidden treasure. Where will YOU find it?