Puppet giraffe and role model “Healthy Harold” admits he feels partially responsible for Lance Armstrong’s alleged drug use during his cycling career.

“Our bus skipped Lane’s school in the late 1970’s, meaning that we couldn’t share our health initiatives of drug awareness and positive body image,” Harold admitted.

Harold, whose real name is Harrison Riewoldt, and who also operates under the pseudonym “Healthy Harold”, admits that the Happy Harold Health Tour bus was scheduled to visit Lance Armstrong’s primary school on July 8, 1979, but was unable to do so because of a maintenance issue.

Harold prefers skateboarding to cycling

“I remember the day clearly,” Harold told Broken News.  “It was rainy and we had already visited two other Texas primary schools in the morning.  On the way to Lance’s school, the bus broke down, because of a hydraulic issue.  We called for roadside assistance, but it didn’t arrive for two hours, beyond the scheduled time of the visit to Lance’s school.”

“It’s a secret that I’ve held onto for more than three decades.  I let Lance down, and I know it,” Harold sobbed.

In June this year, the US Anti Doping Agency charged Armstrong with doping and trafficking of drugs, based on blood samples.  Armstrong has denied drug use but has decided to end his fight against USADA.  It appears possible that Armstrong may lose all seven of his Tour de France titles.  He has maintained his innocence.


“If the bus hadn’t broken down, we would have been able to visit Lance’s school and share our Say No to Drugs policy.  We would have also given Lance a colouring book and set of stickers.  While we’re still waiting for university research to come back, we believe that the use of colouring books can reduce the use of blood booster EPO and steroids by as much as 78 percent.”

Harold says he plans to make amends with Armstrong, by offering him a role in his health organisation’s new international operations.

“We’re expanding into France, and we’d love to talk to him.”