Website editors of Australia’s major news publications say they are “literally counting the seconds” until they can upload photo after photo of the humiliating and embarrassing antics of drunk Melbourne Cup race attendees at Flemington racecourse.

“Forget the race that stops the nation, this is literally the clickbait that stops the nation, and we can’t wait,” one website editor told Street Corner.

“Today is the chance for Joe Average, or more likely Joanne Average, to make a name for themselves on the internet.  Usually it’s just celebs on our pages, but this is the one day that we can also take the p*ss out out of regular people whose only crime is having one too many glasses of Yellowglen in the general admission section.”

“The thing is – they don’t even need to be drunk.  If the camera clicks at the wrong second and they are blinking, they look pretty drunk anyway, and we’ll still use it.”

The phenomenon of the drunk racegoer photo gallery has exploded in recent years, with some photographers sent to racecourses with their sole task to photograph inebriated race attendees in embarrassing acts.  The editors don’t appear to be phased by the risk to the employment prospects of folks who may have made some poor decisions on a Tuesday afternoon, but were otherwise very good people.

Photos of biff are also worth big dollars

Street Corner has obtained a copy of a briefing note that one photographer was sent, in which he was told by an editor that “under no circumstances are you to take any photographs of horses.  Your lens should be trained on boozy punters in skimpy dresses all afternoon.  That is a direct order.”

The photographer explained to Street Corner that he is paid a bonus for more controversial and compromising photographs.

“A photo of a drunk chick holding her stilettos and stumbling is only worth about ten bucks,” one paparazzi who did not wish to be named told Street Corner.  “But if she has fallen into a garbage bin for example, it could be worth eighty or a hundred.”

“The money shot is someone being led away by police”

“Lying on the ground passed out is also good value, particularly if you get a glimpse of cleavage or a g-banger,” the photographer told us.  “Two girls pashing is also worth good coin.  But the money shot is of course someone being led away by either police or ambulance officers.”

But it seems the internet isn’t so interested in photos of drunken blokes.  “Not really mate, the chicks get the clicks.  The only difference is if the boys are punching on – but usually you want video of that, not just photos.”

When challenged on whether the practice is creepy, predatory and sexist, the photographer claimed innocence.  “Mate I just take the photos, I’m not the one clicking on them.”