There is nothing more un-Australian than missing out on a sausage sizzle at your polling place on election day. But the reality is that some of us will go to boring voting centres that don’t even have a cake stall, let alone a sausage sizzle.
Street Corner doesn’t want anyone to miss out, so here’s an easy-recipe for an election day sausage sizzle that you can make yourself at home.
You will need:
- A loaf of tip top white bread (preferably 1-2 days old)
- A tub of margarine (Coles Select or Woolworths Home Brand)
- Sausages (Just normal beef ones, nothing weird please)
- A length of paper towel (Paper serviettes can be substituted if you’re a bit fancy)
- 1x Bottle of Masterfoods Tomato Sauce (don’t buy the cheaper stuff)
- 1x Bottle of Masterfoods BBQ Sauce (again, get the good one)
- Onions, sliced.
- No mustard. This is not an American hot-dog.
- Take the cover off your outdoor BBQ.
- See caked-on, three-month-old onions and realise that you haven’t cleaned it since you last used it in March.
- (Don’t worry, we will clean the BBQ later in step 8.)
- Attempt to light your BBQ.
- Realise you have run out of gas, and have to do a runner to the servo for a new swap-and-go.
- Do runner to the servo for a new swap-and-go.
- Preheat your outdoor BBQ to a high heat.
- While BBQ is heating, go inside and get a beer out of the fridge. We recommend Carlton Draught, VB, or if you live in Queensland and have no alternative, XXXX.
- Take the top off your beer. (If it’s not a twistie, you may need a bottle opener, or if you are particularly skilled in this area, you may just use your teeth.)
- Take a sip of the beer, giving a silent nod to the taste of democracy.
- Once the BBQ is heated, pour a small amount of your beer on the surface and scrape off the three-month old onions with your BBQ scraper. Meanwhile, have another sip of democracy.Get ready for a tasty snag.
- Once the BBQ has been beer-cleaned to your standards, place the sausages onto the hot surface.
- Some people prefer to poke the sausages with a fork to release some of the hot fat and oil inside, but for us, this is a step taken only by cowards.
- Turn the sausages at intervals throughout the BBQ process. If you get bored, just kind of move them around so it looks like you’re doing something.
- Get someone else to put the margarine on the day-old Tip-Top white bread. This job is boring, so try to delegate it where possible.
- Add onions to hot BBQ surface.
- If Tony Abbott is coming to your barbecue, make sure you keep one of your onions totally raw, uncooked and whole, as he prefers them this way.
- If Tony Abbott is coming to your BBQ, make sure you’ve got some raw onions handy. (Photo: abc.net.au)
- Burn at least one of the sausages before realising they are all cooked and move them to a lower heat.
- Use the onions to soak up any remaining fat and oil on the barbecue surface, as these provide much needed micronutrients and antioxidants to combat free radicals.
- Place a slice of margarined (not buttered) bread on top of one square of paper towel. Place sizzled sausage on slice of bread and cover liberally with barbecued onions.
- Try to squirt sauce of your choice onto sausage sandwich.
- Realise the hole of the sauce bottle is encrusted with sauce from last-time. Scrape-off congealed sauce and start again.
- Re-attempt to squirt sauce on sausage sizzle.
- Devour and enjoy with both hands. A sausage sizzle is best enjoyed with sauce rolling down your hands and some barbecued onion staining your white shirt.