There is nothing more un-Australian than missing out on a sausage sizzle at your polling place on election day.  But the reality is that some of us will go to boring voting centres that don’t even have a cake stall, let alone a sausage sizzle.

Street Corner doesn’t want anyone to miss out, so here’s an easy-recipe for an election day sausage sizzle that you can make yourself at home.

You will need: 

  • A loaf of tip top white bread (preferably 1-2 days old)
  • A tub of margarine (Coles Select or Woolworths Home Brand)
  • Sausages (Just normal beef ones, nothing weird please)
  • A length of paper towel (Paper serviettes can be substituted if you’re a bit fancy)
  • 1x Bottle of Masterfoods Tomato Sauce (don’t buy the cheaper stuff)
  • 1x Bottle of Masterfoods BBQ Sauce (again, get the good one)
  • Onions, sliced.
  • No mustard.  This is not an American hot-dog.
Missed out on a sausage sizzle?  We’ll show you how to make one at home.

Method: 

  1. Take the cover off your outdoor BBQ.
  2. See caked-on, three-month-old onions and realise that you haven’t cleaned it since you last used it in March.
  3. (Don’t worry, we will clean the BBQ later in step 8.)
  4. Attempt to light your BBQ.
  5. Realise you have run out of gas, and have to do a runner to the servo for a new swap-and-go.
  6. Do runner to the servo for a new swap-and-go.
  7. Preheat your outdoor BBQ to a high heat.
  8. While BBQ is heating, go inside and get a beer out of the fridge.  We recommend Carlton Draught, VB, or if you live in Queensland and have no alternative, XXXX.
  9. Take the top off your beer.  (If it’s not a twistie, you may need a bottle opener, or if you are particularly skilled in this area, you may just use your teeth.)
  10. Take a sip of the beer, giving a silent nod to the taste of democracy.
  11. Once the BBQ is heated, pour a small amount of your beer on the surface and scrape off the three-month old onions with your BBQ scraper.  Meanwhile, have another sip of democracy.Get ready for a tasty snag.
  12. Once the BBQ has been beer-cleaned to your standards, place the sausages onto the hot surface.
  13. Some people prefer to poke the sausages with a fork to release some of the hot fat and oil inside, but for us, this is a step taken only by cowards.
  14. Turn the sausages at intervals throughout the BBQ process.  If you get bored, just kind of move them around so it looks like you’re doing something.
  15. Get someone else to put the margarine on the day-old Tip-Top white bread.  This job is boring, so try to delegate it where possible.
  16. Add onions to hot BBQ surface.
  17. If Tony Abbott is coming to your barbecue, make sure you keep one of your onions totally raw, uncooked and whole, as he prefers them this way.
  18. If Tony Abbott is coming to your BBQ, make sure you’ve got some raw onions handy. (Photo: abc.net.au)
  19. Burn at least one of the sausages before realising they are all cooked and move them to a lower heat.
  20. Use the onions to soak up any remaining fat and oil on the barbecue surface, as these provide much needed micronutrients and antioxidants to combat free radicals.
  21. Place a slice of margarined (not buttered) bread on top of one square of paper towel.  Place sizzled sausage on slice of bread and cover liberally with barbecued onions.
  22. Try to squirt sauce of your choice onto sausage sandwich.
  23. Realise the hole of the sauce bottle is encrusted with sauce from last-time.  Scrape-off congealed sauce and start again.
  24. Re-attempt to squirt sauce on sausage sizzle.
  25. Devour and enjoy with both hands.  A sausage sizzle is best enjoyed with sauce rolling down your hands and some barbecued onion staining your white shirt.
  26. Repeat.

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